It’s almost been a month without speaking. I feel better, I’m staying positive. I’m pretty sure I’ve finally accepted that we are no longer together, or perhaps trying to ignore it. Either way, I still see you in my dreams almost every night and that is the hardest thing to wake up to.
I watched the documentary The Secret a couple nights ago. It was so inspiring and it has motivated me to be thankful for everything in my life and to trust that thing will work out for us. Maybe not right now but I’m staying positive because I believe that we are meant to be one day– not in a crazy way where I’m obsessed and just don’t want to let you go, but because I just know it in my heart. Even if it is in a couple years. We will find each other.
But for now, I’ll just see you in my dreams.
Well, it’s about that time. I went out last night to an lgbt networking event and I was amazed by how friendly everyone was. I made many new connections. I felt so welcome and it only made me feel more confident about moving here.
It is so relieving to have a stable decision as to what my next step will be after graduation. Of course, I still really miss David and I have my moments of sadness everyday. I wonder if he will end up here as well. I hope he will. But this is my life and nothing will stop me from pursuing my dreams now.
Goodbye San Francisco, I will see you soon. Tomorrow I leave back to Europe for my last semester of school.
Cheers to the future!
I managed to find a way not to go to LA. Maybe one day I’ll go, but not today. I will stay in San Francisco for a couple more days and hustle. I’ll walk into some companies and present myself and see where it goes from there. It’s time that I take control of my life. I have many moments of weakness but I still have some strength left in me. I don’t have strength to be close to my ex right now and barely have the strength to refrain myself from contacting him so it’s just best that I concentrate on me and take care of me.
Well I decided that San Francisco is where I want to be! It’s so nice… So much life, and very international. I had a couple interviews and they are both very interested in me. One offered me a job and the other told me to contact them immediately with the CEO’s personal number. I’m not quite sure what I think though because these these firms don’t exactly market to the targets I would be interested in, however they do train you and you do move quickly up the chain which is important either way. I can get the training I need plus experience and then I can be more picky.
I explored the city and figured out my way around very quickly. I even went on a coffee date. Nothing serious but it was nice to have some company.
Tomorrow I go to LA. I am dreading this unfortunately because I don’t want to be anywhere near my ex right now- especially because we’re doing no contact. I’m so afraid that it will just hurt me more. However I need to go, tickets are too expensive to change the flight. I guess it’s just another part of the journey.
I knew that this was the moment I was waiting for. For the beginning of the end of this chapter. I finally got to San Francisco for the first time last night. Today I have two interviews. I’m figuring out the public transportation system in this city pretty quickly and I already love it. I haven’t even seen the city yet but I think it’s because I know that this is where I’ll end up in a few months.
I wish I could share my experience with David. It gets really lonely because I am here by myself. It’s hard to accept that I shouldn’t talk to him and can’t share my experiences with him after we had been talking almost everyday for two years. It’s sad really.
However, this is my time now. I need to be positive and move forward with this journey. Maybe one day he’ll catch up. This was meant to be- I am meant to be here. I’m excited to keep exploring my future city.
Seeing old friends really reminds you of the people who belongs in your life and who really doesn’t. As the new year has started I can really start doing some “cleaning”. This is the last time I will be home for break and the last time I will see the majority of these people I once called my friends. Graduating from college will be the same idea. I am truly excited to see where my life takes me. I am becoming increasingly more sure it will be San Francisco. I am looking forward to having a stable home ( not having to move places every year) and making it my own. I’m looking forward to having a job and pursue my ambitions. Leaving the past behind– where it belongs. Here is to the beginning of this journey. Cheers!
What better way to start a new year by starting a blog. This year will be by far the most important year of my life so far. It is a year to start new, to start fresh, to put everything negative behind me. I could not be more ready. I know that the year 2013 brought a lot of pain to many, myself included. I endured two breakups, with the man I believe to be the ‘man of my life,’ and my parents separating at the same time. Everything happened so suddenly- like a train going 200 miles an hour that I couldn’t stop. This breakup recently took place, about two weeks ago, and it is the current struggle that I will be writing about fairly often for a while. It is a process to pick myself up, but I know everything is meant to be. This is a year to concentrate on myself, to be strong, and to remind myself to keep going. I am aware that so many people have it worse than I do, but everyone is allowed to express how they feel–that is what I plan to do. Hopefully I can inspire people in one way or another, or hopefully this can just help me through a tough period transitioning into a new one.